1. Prunusphilia, a strange desire to copulate incited by smelling the breath of someone that burps after drinking Dr. Pepper.
2. Mommamalia, the urge to use human breast milk as a lubricant for sexual intercourse with a woman’s breasts
3. Eroticondria, eroticondriacs must maintain being highly aroused in the belief that sexual willingness will prevent them from getting sick
4. Acerophilia, a profound sexual appetite for maple trees, inspired the phrase “go fuck a tree”; remaining Toronto Maple Leaf fans tend to be closet acerphiliacs
5. Spandexaholic, an insatiable desire to watch women in spandex doing work out routines until one can see a discernable sweat spot in the crotch region
6. Ecovagilarianism, a commitment to only eating foods that resemble “a hairy pussy” such as slice of cake with chocolate sprinkles or coconut flakes or a wedge of quiche lorraine
7. Canusilia, when one cannot help but howl like a dog after sexual consummation through intercourse in the so-called “doggy position” and bay at the moon until the sun comes up, thought by scholars to be the origin of the werewolf myth
8. Ambrosiadyxliosis, where one becomes uncontrollably aroused when confronted with a bowl of ambrosia pudding and wishes to perform sexual intercourse with the dessert
9. Rabinnophilia, an intense attraction to the beards of Orthodox Jewish Rabbis which is sometimes characterized by a condition related to Tourette’s Syndrome where a person will suddenly and involuntarily speak obscenely in Yiddish
10. Maxohomegrownvideoitis, where a person suddenly needs to watch every single video from the original amateur porn company, Homegrown Video

1.       Learn to read the Kama Sutra in Sanskrit and climb a mountain to live in a cave where you meditate upon it 25 years until you know it front and back then come back to society and hit a singles bar.

2.       Pop a few Viagra and attend a sex addicts anonymous meeting and run on and on about how good a relapse would feel.

3.       Put a wig and some lipstick on your hand where you have drawn a cute little face.

4.       Rent a gorilla suit and a jungle explorer pith helmet and get some rope, a whip, a canteen full of sex lube, and a hammock.

5.       Sprinkle salt and pepper on your cock or punani before getting oral sex. You might scream a little but this just adds to the excitement.

6.       Practice hula hooping… with a partner…

7.       Open an adult video business where amateur porn stars send you their homemade sex videos and also make your own amateur porn. (Worked for me…)

8.       Put an ad on Craigslist that says you like wearing diapers and being spanked while masturbating with a milk bottle and singing “three horny mice”

9.       Do volunteer work at a local brothel.

10.   Watch more Homegrown Video  amateur porn!

At this point, everyone probably knows  about the furry niche where people dress up in cute, fuzzy, animal costumes and have sex, or things like clown niche where people dress up as clowns,  trade cream  pies in the face, and have  sex, but here are ten new ones to  look out for…

1.        James Bonding. Couples dress in fancy evening gowns and tuxedos and have dangerous sex in public places like hotel balconies and underneath baccarat tables. Instead of talking dirty, couples exchange pithy remarks. After having rough sex they fall in love then try to kill each other.

2.       Parapoopchuting:  Couples jump out of airplanes and engage in anal sex and try to come right at the moment of opening their parachutes.

3.       Banking: Couple stands on either side of a glass window and male masturbates until he can “make a deposit” on the glass. Female pays only minimal interest.

4.       Tennis Balling: Couple wears tennis outfits and attempts to have sex on famous tennis courts around the world while spectators look on. (Derivations include baseballing, golf balling, and soccer balling)

5.       Scrapping: Couples take amateur porn sex photos of them fucking then create scrap books which they make other friends look at and masturbate while viewing.

6.       Grinding: Woman makes a cup of coffee and pours the hot liquid on a guy’s balls before sitting atop his erect penis and grinding on him in the cowgirl position to orgasm. Refills on the coffee are considered a must.

7.       Hairy Potter:  Women develops a nice hairy bush then let’s guys dressed in black capes jack off their “magic wands” all over her pubic hair.

8.       Facialbooking: People use social networking websites to post endless inane messages about the joys of facial cumshots.

9.       Oprah: Couples discuss their sex lives endlessly and feign interest while indulging in mutual masturbation while seated across from one another.

10.   Homegrowning: An oldy, but a goody… people make amateur sex videos of themselves and send them to Homegrown Video so that other people can watch them and jerk off!