“Penetration”
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009In the movie “Orgazmo” Trey Parker plays an earnest Mormon, Joe, who accidentally becomes a star in a porn video and when suddenly confronted with the reality of the director asking for the “penetration” sequence to begin, Joe, horrified, asks “Penetration? What’s penetration? Who’s going to be penetrated?” The Director looks flabbergasted and the actress played by real life porn star Julie Ashton explains, a bit exasperated herself, “That is when the penis enters the orifice Joe”. However, the real answer to that question is buried years ago in a suite somewhere in the Bally’s hotel.
Becoming owner of Homegrown Video meant a few things during those first years when we started running the company. One was that now we had a real purpose behind going to the adult trade shows. Another was working with some of my good ol’ LA porn star friends that I used to make amateur xxx with back in the day when I was still sending in my own amateur porn to places like Homegrown Video. Now combine those two things and you get the recipe for something really crazy… fun… sexual… and possibly even a bit dangerously combustible.
The band at the bar was typical Vegas cheese – a cover band playing disco pop that seemed a perfect complement to all the porn stars, producers, directors, and uber-fans that were crowding out the seats and scaring away most of the regulars with discussions of anal gang bangs and whether or not gagging, sputtering, deep throat cock sucking in videos would bring Johnny Law down on the adult industry with a furious vengeance. The scantily clad waitresses with their cleavage jiggling in seductively revealing scanty dresses that pushed their boobs up in a way that was guaranteed to get guys buying more drinks and paying bigger tips were already getting tired of being hit on with the come on line of the century “How would you like to be in a porno?”
You could tell by their smiles that the joke wore off as soon as they realized these guys with their gold chains sitting back chain smoking cigarettes and putting their cowboy boots up on the chairs draped with hussies dressed so slutty on any other night at Bally’s they would be tossed out for being too obviously hookers were not actually joking. They were serious. Seriously fucked up. You could see the wheels in motion behind the waitresses’ thoughts like those wheels were tires on fire about to be tossed as a fiery necklace over some rude pornographer’s head. Who in the hell did they think they were? Did they just ASSUME – which is to say just because I have an ASS that YOU and ME can hook up and make some PORNO fucking MOVIE. No fucking way. I am not doing that and that means you can wait for your fucking drinks too!
“Never piss off the hired help. “ I told Tad who was better known around the industry as Sunset Thomas’ suitcase pimp. Who could blame him for asking though? This was a guy who noticed a cute but sort of plain Jane girl with mousy hair working a check out at a local grocery and asked her the same question…”wanna do some porn?”, and not only did she say yes but she went on with the help of some peroxide and a good haircut and a boob job to become Sunset Thomas – one of the top starlets in the porn scene. That is, after making a bunch of amateur porn videos with us. Sunset didn’t seem to be paying any attention and luckily the bar maids had taken a liking to her so we were still going to be getting served.
Sunset declared that she was going to go watch some tv and get some sleep. (That’s right… porn stars can be just as boring as regular folks, sometimes more so.) No one could say that Sunset and Tad didn’t have a crazy sex life even when the cameras stopped rolling but let’s be realistic. Even the most horny folks need a break now and then to recharge the dildo batteries. Tad and I said “goodnight” and as Sunset walked out I noticed how many pairs of half lidded eyes followed her. Tad waited about five minutes then he got up and declared “I am going to scout some talent – there are tons of girls here that want to shoot – we need to get some scenes shot”. I wasn’t about to budge. The chilly margaritas had just landed and I was determined to make sure that I drank enough of them to avoid the scurvy. “Good luck” I told him, “let me know if you need help shooting if you find anyone.”
Tad didn’t answer. He was already on the prowl.
Tad disappeared into the maze of slot machines. I now held court at the table and nursed what was left of my drink until another set arrived. A guy dressed in the height of lounge lizard tuxedo fashion was walking around performing feats of illusion for a porn crowd that couldn’t care less. I guess if he wasn’t going to pull a hot stripper out of his hat that was willing to do anal sex in a porno nobody was going to give him the time of day. However, I was mesmerized by the playing card that seemed to hover and dart around him while he walked around as if it were a trained butterfly.
Even when he came up to where I was sitting and started talking – eventually admitting that he wanted a shot at being in porn – I couldn’t figure out how the hell he was doing it. I answered his questions sincerely and directly, drawing out the explanations to buy time to figure out the trick but to no avail. Of course there was a wire somewhere, but I couldn’t see or feel it as hard as I tried. Sure tons of guys want to get into porn but this was in the age before Viagra and the sad truth was most of them would never be able to stand having sex in front of a dozen other guys that just want you to finish so they can get paid and go home to a cold beer and a couple of bong loads. If he could magically make his cock stand up on cue and cum on demand then he might have a shot at becoming the David Copperfield of porn. Without the benefit of a little pill that would invisibly wire his cock up into a raging erection he would be just another sap trying to break into a business that had a line of guys a thousand miles long waiting there standing in front of him, all with limp dicks dangling. Naturally, when he figured out the gist of what I was saying it was like revealing a magic trick. All the fun goes out, the mystery is lost, and all you are left with is a big “Yeah, I knew that had to be how it was done, thanks for a big heaping helping of whatever”. No one likes coming face to face with the obvious.
The disillusioned illusionist disappeared as quickly and as magically as he had appeared. There were plenty of other people to try his sleight of hand job on that would maybe give him a better audience than I had. I nodded through a few more conversations of people looking for any sort of angle on how I could put money in their pockets. Did I need a photographer? Was I looking to buy any scripted features? Do I need a good editing house? No, we shoot our own photos. Sorry, producing high priced scripted features was one great reason why I was more into making amateur videos – reminding one more earnest porn producer one more time that Homegrown Video was still only interested in doing amateur videos. Thanks but we do our own editing in house.
The haze of all the cigarettes blurred my contact lens and made seeing difficult. I was trying to be as polite as possible but not being able to see clearly along with the cumulative effects of the alcohol began working like a truth serum, and I was getting short with people at the expense of any sort of manners and decorum. If Tad hadn’t come along just in the nick of time, with two very pretty girls, then I might have exploded from the urge to just tell people to fuck off in no uncertain terms and in language no longer clothed in polite platitudes.
The girls with Tad were delicious. Nervous. Young. Maybe too young, so after the introductions and the small talk about going upstairs to shoot some amateur porn I had to see their identification. Luckily, they passed at eighteen and nineteen years old. Not old enough to stay in the lounge, not old enough to drink, but old enough to suck cock and get fucked in a porn video. God bless America!
We started to make our way to the elevators when suddenly a guy came running up to us. He looked pissed off like someone had just pissed all over his Cheerios and ditched him before he could sound off about it. Tad introduced him as the brother of one of the girls. I reached to shake his hand but all that he offered in return was a scowl. “Is he going to fuck my sister?” He asked Tad.
Tad kept smiling. “Let’s go upstairs and figure all that out.” The brother didn’t look happy but he didn’t say “no” so well all boarded the elevator together and rode up in an uncomfortable silence.
The plan initially was to go shoot in Tad’s and Sunset Thomas’s beautiful suite. Sunset greeted us at the door – of course it would have been the porn fantasy for her to let us in dressed in nothing but a sexy negligee, dolled up and ready for some erotic play, but that was not going to happen. The makeup was off, the hair down, and dressed for bed meant a comfortable tee shirt and some silky slacks. Hot and heavy wild porn fantasy sex tonight with porn star Sunset Thomas and a couple of new sexy co-ed amateurs was about as likely to happen as me replacing Fidel Castro as president elect for life. She was anything but excited for us to come in and shoot some amateur porn when she was settling down to catch some tube before bed time. Ever friendly, Sunset kept her poise but even the most oblivious arrogant asshole in the world could tell she was not happy with Tad trying to convince her that the shoot wouldn’t last long. As a friend rather than a colleague I stepped in to offer my room for the shoot.
Sunset looked completely relieved. “Thank you honey,” She said so sweetly that I felt like I had just shared an orgasm with her that made my spine tingle. No wonder she was such a popular starlet.
We made our way down to my room. The two girls were edgy and nervous, quietly whispering to each other and looking more and more concerned with each step toward the room that Tad and I might in fact be serial killer rapists about to make a snuff film or something. Any attempts at friendly banter only seemed to make matters worse. The brother was annoyed. Apparently, upon seeing Sunset, who is gorgeous even when she is unpainted and primped, he figured that she would be joining us. Clearly, he figured that was who he intended to be bunking down with when the camera started rolling. Finding out that was not going to happen served up the kind of disappointment that seems akin to a broiling case of road rage that could erupt over with just one tap of a break peddle from the car ahead equally trapped in the same jam.
As soon as we went through the door, the brother stepped up as if he had spent a lifetime practicing at being a suitcase pimp. “How much are we going to get paid?” I looked toward Tad.
“That is his department.” I said. Thinking. (What does he mean “we”?)
Tad was patient with him. Fortunately, Tad’s reputation as sort of the king of all suitcase pimps gave him an edge in dealing with the guy, a king talking down to a mere prince. “That depends on what the girls do in the scene.”
“Do?” The brother replied curtly. “They aren’t going to be doing shit.” He said.
This was going to be tougher than I thought.
Tad looked over at me. I couldn’t say anything. We both looked over at the brother. What do you say to somebody that thinks people making amateur porn don’t have any sex per se in said porn? The silence that followed opened a huge gap for thoughts to fill. Maybe this wasn’t going to happen after all. The girls were cute but what the heck, it had been a long day, maybe it was time to do what Sunset was wisely doing – get in bed, watch some tube, fall asleep, get recharged for another day at the orifice.
Tad proved to be the tougher suitcase pimp than this young peacock training though. “Well, if the girls are going to get paid then we need them to actually get naked and have sex on camera.” Tad said, matter of facetiously. Money has a way of bringing people back to their senses just as quickly as it has a way of making people lose their senses. The brother started negotiating in earnest for his sister and her friend’s video virginity.
“How much are you going to pay?” The brother wanted to know.
“Well that depends on what they are going to be doing in the video.” Tad answered. Then he advised, “They will start with me, maybe doing a bit of hand job, then some blow job, then we will move on to the penetration. “ Tad sounded more like a surgeon explaining what will happen before an operation than a professional pervert about to make some good old fashioned fuck film.
“PENETRATION! WHAT’S PENETRATION? WHO’S GOING TO BE PENETRATED?” The sister shrieked as if doctor Tad was actually brandishing a scalpel and ready to rip her open from stem to sternum. And people think that making amateur porn is all fun and games.
Time froze like someone just pressed the pause button on the camera. Everyone in the room froze still for one perfect instant. Then things began rolling again, the girls looked at each and took turns making angry and shocked expressions at each other to see who could escalate the matter to the highest possible level of abject terror. Whispering to each other and looking to the one girl’s brother for support and encouragement of their hysterics.
The friend started chiming in, “What the fuck do you mean? You got to be fucking kidding me!”
Things were going from bad to worse. At this point I just wanted them all to leave so I could get some sleep. The whole process was becoming tiring. Someone knocked at the door. The brother barked, “Who’s that?” like he was expecting it to be the cops and he wasn’t going down without a fight. I halfway expected him to pull a tommy gun out of his suitcase pimp suitcase and start blasting. The knock started again. Louder. Harder. Faster. The first thing that came to my mind was “oh no, shooting porn in Vegas is not legal – pimp bro is right -that is the knock of either security or the cops.” In Las Vegas, everyone knows, if you have to tangle with either of them then you are going home a loser.
I told everyone to quiet down while I hid the video cameras in the drawers and went to open the door. Fortunately no hot lights were up and on and baking the room yet so that wouldn’t raise any questions. I peered through the security peep. It definitely was not the cops or security. In fact, it was our new in house producer from Atlanta, Mike South, a good ol’ boy porn producer whom we discovered when he sent in a video to Homegrown. Opening the door and letting him in would at least even the teams a bit so I welcomed him in and introduced him as our cameraman for the shoot.
Luckily, this brought the discussion back around to business. The brother once again started negotiating with Tad in earnest. The sister and her friend both sat on the bed and would occasionally look at each to communicate silently with an eye roll, a grimace, and something verging on a sneer. Mike and I made small talk about what was going on down at the lounge. Every once in a while I would ask the girls if they had any questions, or wanted something to drink, or the TV on, trying hard to effect some sort of rapport but to no avail.
If we were going to have sex at this point then the inspiration to perform would have to come from a dark and heavy place where grudge fucking nastiness is cruelly invoked. The pussycat would have to be crated and the tiger unleashed.
I was already resigned to the fact that this amateur porn shoot would not be ending up on Homegrown Video any time soon. We only wanted the sort of action where everyone is having a great time without out any need to pretend he or she is having actual fun. This shoot, if indeed there was going to be a shoot, and that was open to question, did not seem like it would fall into the sort of niche Homegrown has prided itself on and the standard which I was committed to upholding. This would be one of those days where folks have to pretend that they actually enjoy each other’s company. This would be one of those days where a great imagination and serious dedication to fucking would be required to get the job done.
Tad at last managed to persuade the brother to go wait in the suite with Sunset Thomas and watch television while we got the shoot underway. Tad escorted him down to the room. I can only imagine how happily Sunset received this son of a bitch with a smile on her face. Mike South went to get some extra lights. I was all alone in the room with the sister and her girlfriend. Every time I tried to make some sort of pleasant small talk all I got was one syllable replies that were closer to grunts or snorts than anything actually intelligible so I gave up on trying to find any sort of chemistry in the situation. The wait seemed interminable due to the stretching expanse of hallways that exists between every point that takes a person from A to B in Las Vegas – obviously a ploy to discourage anyone from walking away from the casino. Finally though, Mike returned, then Tad.
The lights were set up. I had two cameras ready to go but we decided to shoot with just one. This was just as well because the other camera had a cassette in it that had some footage of my two year old daughter and since I didn’t have the case for it I was happy to keep that footage safe and sound in the camera, away from the grit and grime of a porn shoot.
Tad and I jumped up on the king size bed with the two girls. Foreplay was going sort of ok. I was paired with the friend and she seemed to be warming up to the idea that we would actually be making an amateur sex video. Tad was persistently patient with the sister and she seemed to thaw too. I have to give the guy credit since women actually seemed to really like when he would go down on them… unlike most of the porn studs in the business that the starlets would visibly cringe when guys would head south to work tongues like sand paper over their most sensitive regions. We kept the action moving. Mike kept the camera rolling. The girls moved into position to return the favor. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought we were actually on our way to making some sweet frigging porno action. Maybe I should get the scene for Homegrown I was thinking while I looked down at her sweet mouth as she took my cock in deeply.
The pounding, smashing, frantic and insistent knock at the door snapped me out my reverie. What now?
Mike South might have a southern drawl and most people, well, at least those that are not from the South tend to equate that with mental slowness. In this moment, where split second decisions would make all the difference in deciding whether or not you were going to be thrown out of the hotel or worse yet thrown into a Las Vegas jail cell, Mike hid the camera in a drawer, turned off the lights and got them into the closet, and checked who was standing outside slamming his fist into the door without opening it. He did all that before Tad could say “cut” or anything appropriately dictatorial like that. I was still naked with my hard cock ready to continue fucking until we accomplished our mission and made some good old fashioned red, white and blue movie style amateur porn.
Tad said, “Don’t open it!”
Mike looked back at us from the door. “It’s the brother.”
The girls looked at Tad. They didn’t say anything. Either this was totally normal and an everyday occurrence which at this point was becoming dull, or they were so stunned at the embarrassing prospect of him walking in and seeing them in various states of undress and looking sort of flushed from the sex that they couldn’t speak. At this point I couldn’t tell and that was troubling. I had prided myself for keeping tuned into people’s vibes and staying aware of the emotional status of things. One had to be careful. I remember when some folks posing as amateur porn stars tied up Ed Powers, beat him with his own Adult Video Award statue, and robbed him blind. One had to be careful and not become so “fuck drunk” on barely legal pussy that he let his guard down when his dick went up.
The pounding on the door stopped. Mike peered again through the peep hole. “I think he left,” Mike advised, “Wait! He’s still there.”
All of a sudden, the brother came back with something ten times worse than a sledgehammer pounding on the door. Out in the middle of the hallway, in a casino hotel, in the heart of Las Vegas, the brother started screaming…
“RAPE!”
The nasty echoing reverberation of those words careening and crashing off of every room on the floor could certainly snap even the most intoxicated hardcore gamblers from their stupor and bring them to their senses. Rape. Rape. That guy was actually standing in the freaking hallway yelling “rape” even though he just negotiated for his own sister, along with her pretty friend, to be in an amateur porn production. Some people have a lot of nerve, meaning more than enough to go around and make everyone else nervous. Too fucking much. I could already see the headline in tomorrow’s paper: “Homegrown Video President Charged with SEX ASSAULT”. This was the absolute last thing I ever wanted Homegrown to be associated with – a direct contradiction to our motto “Trying to make a world where sex is safe”. My peace, love, and hot fucking values were being sorely tested and to make matters worse I was developing an acute case of blue balls due to the coitus interruptus.
Tad, Mike South, and I all jumped for the door. As soon as we opened it the guy shut up. He was actually smiling. I felt like smacking that twisted grin off his face and replacing his sniggering lips with my fist.
“What the fuck are you thinking?” “What is your fucking problem?” “Have you lost your fucking mind?” We were like a disdainful chorus in a Greek tragedy chiming in together, not expecting any sort of reasonable and direct reply but just voicing angry sentiments to punctuate the moment clearly. The idiot stood his ground and kept smiling snugly. Finally, he made his point. “Pay me now. We are done.”
Tad tried to reason with him. Again.
“We aren’t done yet. We have to do the money shot or else there is not going to be any money.”
The brother looked pissed. Apparently he figured that just telling us that it was time to be done and run off with the cash was going to be easy as a teenager jacking off to his first Playboy or something. “Pay me now or I start telling everyone what is going on in here.” We all glared at each other. The stakes were rising fast – even for a town like Las Vegas. I could tell that Mike South and Tad were both just as ready as I was to jump the guy and start beating the crap out of him.
“RAPE!” He screamed again and to add insult to injury he added, “They are making porn in here!”
We had to do something fast. I knew that it would just be a matter of milliseconds before security showed up and we were all doomed. Making even amateur porn videos in Las Vegas is still not ok.
“C’mon, we can be done in five minutes and you can get paid and everyone gets what he wants.” Tad said. “Just wait for five more minutes with Sunset.” Tad recommended. The brother sneered. “What’s the matter with that?” Tad asked. “You should ask her” the brother answered so Tad said he would be right back after he went down to talk to Sunset to see if she could handle five more minutes of the guy.
As soon as Tad left the brother said, “If she is not going to fucking put out then why the fuck would I want to hang with that cunt?” I took a deep breath. Mike looked at me and I knew he was ready to pin the guy while I battered him to a pulp. We held our cool. At the end of the day, a burning pile of crap of a day, we weren’t going to get paid either unless this thing was done. The sister and her friend were now dressed. Great, now we were essentially back to square one and square two did not even appear to exist. In fact, at this point, any step off of square one probably meant an instant plunge into a deep abyss from which there would be no return without a pair of shiny metal cuffs on.
So, even though anyone in his right mind could have seen that this whole shoot was going down in flames for some idiotic reason I kept trying to restore balance and harmony and get back to the sex action. Had I become so completely intoxicated with her sweet, tight eighteen year old pussy? Was I to the point where I was delusional and ready to believe we would all smile in the mystical, magical, sacred knowledge that we’d made some kick ass amateur porn together? Had I convinced myself that we would finally finish in a pile of twisting bodies and undulating flesh, out of breath and flushed with wicked orgasms, about to be friends forever – bonded by the deep satisfaction that we brought a joy of sex to an otherwise pitiful and joyless world?
Had I lost my freaking mind?
No. The show must go on. There is a job to do. When the going gets tough then the tough get hard and finish the shoot. No money shot. No money. Mike South got the lights and cameras back out and ready for action. After all, we were all here to not just have fun but make some money too. I tried to appeal to reason and when that didn’t seem to be working then I tried to appease their greed. Sister was having none of it since apparently she was only going to let her brother negotiate her sex scene rates, and he was for now just ignoring me, but the friend seemed interested. Perhaps not interested in the sense of being sexually attracted or anything but smart enough to realize that not shooting more than five or ten minutes of sex, with no cumshot, was not going to win any cash bonus or anything; thus, interested in only what would be required to finish with cash in hand.
When Tad came back from Sunset’s suite, I could tell by the look on his face that whatever conversation he had with Sunset only raised the stakes. I could tell the only cards in his fist were clubs and he was ready to play bare knuckle poker on that joker brother’s dense skull. How far had the brother pushed it with Sunset? I knew she was tough as a pair of stripper heels and could handle herself well from her time fending off drunk morons in clubs but just the notion that she actually had to deal with that bastard being in her room and breathing the same air was horribly invasive enough.
But Tad didn’t want to gamble on going home empty handed either, “We can finish shooting this and I can pay you when we are done or you can go now and we will just call it quits” Tad said.
The brother stood up and walked over to the dresser. My camera was on top. He grabbed the camera and backed toward the door. “Ok,” he said, “then you can pay us with this!” And with that, he was out the door.
First off, I was not running the show; therefore, by all accounts I should not have been having to worry about everyone was due to be paid. So the fact that this fucker had grabbed my camera as compensation was bad enough. But now he was outside the room. In the hall. Free to roam. In a public place. In a public space where the shooting of amateur porn is actually ILLEGAL. We all looked at each other for a second in utter disbelief. What the hell? The girls followed suit and walked out quickly behind the brother. Mike followed them out along with Tad while I struggled to get some pants and a shirt on. By the time I made it out the door they were all almost down to the elevators and I had to run just to catch them before the doors opened. I jumped in with everyone. There we were all trapped together in a big shiny box about to drop down into the casino like a present wrapped perfectly for Security to open up and find a nice surprise inside.
All of us vainly tried talking the brother into handing over the camera. Nope, he was going to keep it. I wanted to jump him and just start pounding the shit out of him but not if that meant my thousand dollar camera was going to be busted beyond repair. The doors to the elevator opened and the rows of slot machines and card tables stretched out in front of us. The noise of the machines and the smoke of a million cigarettes smoked and smoking provoked instant manic confusion. The brother bolted out and began quickly walking toward the doors. As we followed he stepped up his pace to a jogging run. He was going to make it to the doors. That couldn’t happen. I wasn’t going to let that happen. No way. My fucking camera. Mine!
I saw a security guy. He saw us all now running and was stepping up to tell us that would not be allowed in the Bally’s casino, but I didn’t have time for his lecture. We needed his help. Now! Or else it would be too late!
“Stop that guy!” I yelled, surprising the security guy, “He stole my camera!”
I would have to just take my chances. No way was I going to let the fucker just grab my camera and run out of the place. How could anyone prove that I was shooting amateur porn for anything but fun which last time I looked was not illegal… not even in Las Vegas. So what if I owned Homegrown Video, the original amateur porn company? That didn’t necessarily mean that I was there in the Bally’s hotel upstairs in one of their rooms making a video of girls sucking my cock which would be sold in the next installment of the Homegrown series. Everyone should have a fun hobby to pass the time right? So what if mine involved getting naked and having sex on camera. I was well on the way to almost convincing myself, but the security guys and possibly the police, well, that would be something that I was now going to have to find out the hard way.
The security guard who was angling toward stopping me from running through the casino looked confused. He looked back to see the brother slowing from a run, to a jog, to a brisk walk with his sister and her friend trying to keep up. The guard did a double take, looking back again at me, then at them. I yelled again, “They have my camera!” The uniformed security guy snapped a few words into a walkie talkie and started running toward the brother. I noticed that the brother passed the camera off to his sister and she was trying to carry it off like a quarterback had just faked a pass and handed off the ball to her.
“She has it now!”
From several different angles more security guards suddenly converged, stopping the brother, his sister, and her friend. They were only a few steps from the doors but now everything was coming to a screeching halt. The moment of reckoning had arrived.
The security guy looked at me. “Come with us and let’s straighten this out.”
We all followed the team of Bally’s security guards back to a door that no one ever wants to walk through in a Casino. When you go through that door, you no longer are at the party. The music stops. The lights stop blinking. The cards are off the table. You are suddenly transported instantly to a place that looks and feels way more like a police station.
Florescent lighting cast its quivering light onto the dark wood veneer paneling and gave the walls a sort of greasy shine. The front desk was tall in a way that made me feel sort of short. Every guy in there, some in light tan uniforms and others in dress suits, looked at us like we had either just murdered someone, or worse, cheated the casino or something. Me, the crazy pimp brother, his whore in training wheels sister, and her hot friend with the IQ of a shoe, were all cramped into the small entrance. For a few minutes that felt like I had just spent my last two bits in the world losing to a one armed bandit, the Bally’s security staff kept us waiting. At least the security guys had my camera, but I knew they were looking at the footage on the tape and probably getting a good laugh and maybe a boner or two checking out our amateur porn.
Finally, one guy came out and led us each to separate rooms. The time for the interrogation was here. I was practicing my denials over and over in my head. Yes, I was there for the porn convention. Yes, I was the president and owner of an amateur porn company called Homegrown Video. Yes, I was up in my room making amateur porn. No, it was not for reselling but only for my personal collection therefore I was not actually breaking any Clark County laws that prohibit making pornography.
I waited in the stark room expecting a couple of security thugs to come in at any minute with a stack of phone books to start wailing on me and slapping me with every area code in the book. As long as I got my camera back then I suppose, on top of everything else that had already gone down, that I was prepared to take a beating, get kicked out of the hotel, forbidden from every setting foot on another Bally’s property. I was more into sex than gambling anyway. Just don’t kick me in the balls.
The door finally opened and the guard walked in. No phone books, but he did have my camera. Then, it hit me like I had just won the jackpot. He was holding the camera that we did not use to shoot porn with. It did have a cassette in it, but the only thing on that cassette was footage of my baby getting cuddled and crawling around. Then he asked me the million dollar question, “If this is your camera then can you tell me what is on the tape?”
“Sure, no problem.” I answered with a smile and he smiled back at me and I realized we both knew not only what was on the tape, but also what was NOT on the tape. “There is footage of my daughter crawling around.” He handed me the camera.
“Make sure that is all that you are videotaping while you are in town, ok?” He stood there in front of the door and I knew that with a simple “yes sir, no problem, sir” I was going to be walking free – free to come back to Bally’s. Free to shoot good old fashioned amateur fuck videos. Free to be me. And that deserved not just a “yes sir” but also a “thank you, sir” as I went past him. He walked me back to the front lobby of security. The others were standing there as well. They didn’t look happy as they were just about to be escorted off the property flanked by security guards. The sister was sneering at me. She was seething and her face seemed to be changing colors like she was about to mutate into some ghastly succubus that would rip me to shreds. She turned red, then purple, then black… and that is when she exploded, lunging at me with talons shredding and teeth gnashing.
“You fucking asshole!” She screamed at me and grabbed me, ripping my shirt, tearing her nails deep into my flesh. I did my best to protect the camera while she tore me apart. “Give me that fucking tape!” She spit and snarled. Security pulled her off but I was already bleeding from my face, chest, and arms where her claws had hooked in and tore through savagely. Through it all, the smile never left my face.
I walked out of security and made my way back to the hotel room. Mike South was there waiting for me. Tad had gone back to his and Sunset’s suite. Fucker. He had disappeared as soon as he saw security and had left me to deal with the problem like it was mine and mine alone to handle at that point. I put the camera back on the bureau.
I looked at Mike.
“That was fucking nuts.” I said.
Mike went to the closet and lifted some clothes then pulled out the other camera.
“Yep,” he answered in his Georgian drawl, “That sure was pretty crazy.”
“You should have been there when they asked what “penetration” is.” I told him.
“Penetration? What’s penetration?” Mike asked with a wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
We both laughed.
