10. Don’t ask a milf, “What time do you have to get the kids to soccer practice?

9. Avoid saying to a milf “Is that lingerie supposed to hide your stretch marks?

8. Never tell a milf, “Your granny panties really turn me on”

7. Try not to inquire about dirty diapers during foreplay with a milf

6. When a milf asks you if she looks fat in that pair of jeans don’t say “did you mean ‘fat’ or do you mean ‘phat’?”

5. Do not implore a milf to suck on her nipples “like a newborn baby would”

4. When a milf spreads her legs for you never say “I am going to fuck that hole where the baby crawled out of”

3. Don’t tell a milf that you want to fuck her like you would fuck Sarah Palin by clubbing her with your cock like you would club a baby fur seal

2. When a milf begs for a cream pie don’t say anything like “Shouldn’t you be watching your weight?”

1. When a milf wants to make a HOMEGROWN VIDEO amateur sex tape then make sure the batteries are charged!

All I know is the milf ticket defines an unprecedented moment in US history and although I would not kick Palin out of bed for eating elephant shaped animal cookies when I was done treating her like the naughty librarian (making her read the really hot and salacious bits out of “Tropic of Cancer” or any other book she was trying to ban then making her lick the Dewey off my decimal if you know what I mean and I think you all do…) then I would have to tell her to get the hell out of bed because there was just no way in hell that I would be voting for her.

Yeah, I’m a pig. Oink, oink, now kiss my commie pinko curly tailed buttocks you bunch of long boat canoe captains for McCain/Palin… but if you are a fan of amateur porn then think about what four more years of culture wars on your favorite adult production companies means and how your access to the entertainment you love, like Homegrown Video, will be effected. Doesn’t matter what party a person is affiliated with, amateur porn is enjoyed by all sides, and so one has to consider how a vote can matter in so simple a pleasure pursued as a matter of liberty and a freedom freely expressed.