I was worried about Stephanie going to Los Angeles to work with Max Hardcore. There were plenty of models that after working with Max decided porn was definitely not for them  and would hit the eject button on the porn vehicle career path before even really pulling out of the starting gate. Shooting a Max Hardcore scene was certainly a trial by fire. He demanded high intensity, extreme sexual acrobatics, and absolute obedience to his directing style. Love him or hate him for the type of content he makes, one still has to acknowledge that he does have a standard of style and, scoff at this all you want, an artistic vision for what he is doing.

I once saw a memo from one of his chief production company clients, internationally successful porn company Private Media, and one of the directives stated “Start with the female dressed up and with good make-up then start with one male performer but add another or two or three more and do not retouch the make-up during the scene. By the end of the scene the female should look completely opposite, sweaty, disheveled, a complete mess”. This was the type of scene that made Private a successful company and Max cut his porn chops on this kind of client, but I wasn’t sure Stephanie was ready for this type of stuff. It was a long way away from the kind of amateur porn Homegrown Video distributed, which apart from the Max line was based on letting horny folks do whatever they wanted to do with whomever he or she wanted to be with.

I told Stephanie to call me and let me know how it went.  When I didn’t hear from her, I didn’t know what to think.  I worked for Max back when there was a rumor that a girl had died on his set and he had buried her in the San Fernando Valley somewhere. Even though I knew that wasn’t true I still knew some models that were so freaked out by the sort of crazed scenes that they did afterwards would disappear to mend their fragile and shattered sense of self. Then you might never hear from the model again, or the model would say “Don’t ever work for Max” to any other aspiring starlets, or the model would realize that it wasn’t so bad – the pay good, the notoriety better – and they would spend the next couple of weeks  shooting exclusively for Max.

I called Stephanie a few times. Almost a week later she finally called me back.

“Be patient,” Stephanie assured us, “when I am ready then we can do that.”

We never felt comfortable in the hard sell approach to these matters. Nobody wants to be responsible for encouraging someone to do something that later he or she might regret. At least, nobody that operates from a considerate consciousness and a humane respect for his or her fellow beings wants to pressure anyone into a porn career. Making amateur porn and becoming a porn star are things that need to come from the heart and soul of the truly sexual, unashamed, and uninhibitedly exhibitionistic of us. Stephanie so far had been so spare in words, soft in her tone, and shy in her demeanor that we wished to tread especially lightly in any conversations about doing more videos. However, just because she was quiet and not terribly extroverted, we should not have underestimated the sexual demon that lurked inside of tender, innocent, dainty Stephanie Swift.

The first clue was that she asked to work with Max Hardcore, the notorious producer distributed exclusively with us at the time. Only the truly freaky hardcore porn girls would request such a thing where so many others said “absolutely no fucking way” otherwise. We had told her about Max, the annihilator of assholes, the pugilist of puckered orifices, and the destroyer of derrieres.  And we showed her the footage of his scenes which some reviewers had described as being hard to look away from in the same way that is true of an accident on the freeway. But instead of scaring her straight back to amateur porn where one can do whatever, however, with whomever, she  wishes, Stephanie wanted us to make the introduction immediately.

For even a city the size of San Diego, most young adults that make the choice to go to Los Angeles feel that it is a big jump – LA represents another planet. For a young amateur porn model on her way to becoming a big time mainstream porn starlet, Los Angeles presents another universe entirely. There are agents, and producers, and people that alienate you because you challenge their space as competition to that piece of the stardom that shines hot with flashy cash. There are hardcore physically demanding sex scenes that you might not want to do but if you don’t then that person aligned directly behind you is going to land the part and collect the cocaine dusted do-re-mi.

We warned her. Max only shoots anal scenes. “I don’t want to do anal.” She said. “My boyfriend only wants me to be with girls.” She said.

We reminded her. Max doesn’t work with condoms in his anal sex scenes. “He can only have sex with me if he wears a condom” .

What about only working with girls?

The other day Lani and I were having sex when all of a sudden she asked that I fuck like the president. So I asked, “Which one?”

“All of them!” She replied.

“You have to be more specific.” I said. “Name one and I will fuck like he does.”

“Start with Nixon!” she threw out. So I tried sneaking in her backdoor but she caught me and impeached me from going any further. Then she said, “Ford!” I begged her pardon and tried to sink a hole in one with my putter in her pussy hole. She got kind of bored with that though and suggested Jimmy Carter next so I asked for the Lord to forgive me while I fucked her good and hard while I imagined fucking all the Playboy bunnies who attended Hugh Hefner’s pajama party in 1978. She enjoyed it but it just wasn’t enough so she screamed for Ronald Reagan.  I kept a big smile on my face while I secretly snuck my finger into her ass which made her shoot me a couple “what the fuck are you doing” looks but never took the smile off my face… on the contrary, I kept plugging away…

Then she asked for Bush Sr. so I just went ahead and invaded her ass but that didn’t last long before she wanted the President I was most looking forward to all along, Bill Clinton. I went wild like a freak and she loved every minute of it even when I pulled out and came all over her face and her blue nightgown. It was amazing and I thought we would stop there but, well, you know Lani… she just wanted more… but even I was kind of shocked when she asked for more…  Bush… Jr., that is.

So I had to re-inflate my now limp cock and try to figure out what the hell I was going to do so I figured I might as well, what the hell, try to go back to invading her ass and plunder her for all she was worth so that by the time I was through she would be pretty much too exhausted to continue. But we are talking about Lani here and you know what? She hoped we could go on. So at last she called for Obama. I ratified my stimulus package, rolled up my sleeves, and proceeded to lay some pipe…

My crazy girlfriend Lani Brooke loves to surprise me with unusual sex games like when she said “let’s have a threesome” and the third one turned out to be her sock puppet. Then there is the time she started calling out various names of past and present Presidents and telling me that I had to fuck like them… (imagine trying to conjur up how Bush Sr. or Gerald Ford would lay some fuck down and you can guess how tough that would be; although when she called out Clinton I knew right away just how pervy I could get)

Well, today she calls me to the chamber of love and when she comes up from under the covers – her usual surprise attack which I know now to be quite wary of – she came out with a little fake mustache on and told me to fuck her new alter ego “Larry”!

I could have froze up. I could have questioned my sexuality. I could have been an angry homophobe and been totally turned off. But I didn’t. I watched Sean Penn’s brilliant performance in “Milk” and if he could act like a gay man and win an Academy Award then I could use “the method” to pull of an equally award worthy performance.

I knew just what to do. I didn’t hesitate. I said, “I am going to get all Castro – Fire Island – Santa Monica Blvd on your sweet little ass baby!”

I grabbed the lube…

You can figure out the rest you dirty little whores!

there is one great way

to start and end discussions

with a big butt plug

Your asshole’s so tight

Scotsmen would loan it money

And pay interest

Back in the glory days of porn in the Valley, the late eighties and early nineties, I worked for Max Hardcore. He would hire me for certain occasions; he called me the “Pussy Cat” and I would be brought in for special assignments with brand new talent that was not rough and ready, wise and wizened to the ways of porn. I was supposed to give them the kind of soft, purring, cuddly introduction to fucking on video that would get them over any lingering inhibitions and bring them fully into the hardcore world of video carnality. Obviously, I loved my work and looked mostly forward to these days. But nothing quite prepared me for Tammi Ann.

Tammi Ann was brand spanking new and with her blond hair and blue eyes radiating more innocence than a Disney cartoon heroine. Max grilled her with the usual barrage of questions. How much have you done? What did you do? Who did you work with? And so on, until he came to the question of anal sex… Tammi Ann answered emphatically, “No, I don’t do anal. No way I don’t like anal sex. No way, I’m not doing anal. You can’t pay me enough to get fucked in the ass”.

Now many producers in the same position would look like something just got jammed up his ass and would begin to stutter into trying to beg the model to give her butt up for anal plundering. Max is not one of those kind of producers. He didn’t hesitate.  “How about D.P? Would you be willing to do D.P?”

Tammi Ann looked at me and smiled and I smiled back. This was a positive first step to our eventual union in front of the camera turned on to capture us in all our fucking glory gloriously fucking for all to see. I waited for her to answer since she actually seemed to be giving the question some very reasonable consideration.

“Sure I will do D.P” Tammi Ann said finally happy as ever at having resolved to answer the question. Paul and I looked at each other a bit surprised and happy the answer went so positively.

We looked back at Tammi Ann who promptly asked “D.P? What’s D.P?”

During the scene, a dildo magically appeared. I put my cock in Tammi Ann’s ass then I put the dildo in her pussy. Gentle, considerate. Until we got going, then we were all hissing and moaning. A pair of pussy cats whining in an alley.

Tammi Ann went on to become the “Queen of Anal” and win an AVN award for “Most Depraved Sex Scene”.

Homegrown Video‘s “Amateur Anal Attempts 12″ continues the series with another roster of great anal sex scenes. Trish and Chris are a tattooed couple who love to get dirty together for the camera. They talk about Trish’s huge boobs and what their favorite positions are, but then they get down to the action and start to get busy. Chris starts out by eating her pussy while Trish lays on her back. Then she straddles his face and he continues to lap her up. He fingers and plays with her for several minutes and then Trish returns the favor by sucking and stroking Chris’ cock. They get into the 69 position for a bit, teasing one another with their tongues. Then after their oral foreplay, Chris gets up on top of Trish and starts pounding into her. After drilling her on her back, he turns her over and rams into her doggy style. They continue to fuck until he finally pops his load off into her waiting mouth.

Sarah Jane is a bit nervous when she hooks up with Buck, but she came over for a favor. She’s never tried anal sex, but she’s very willing to learn. She’s a bit shy at first, but Buck gets her in the mood by feeding her his big cock. Sarah just had a birthday and recently turned 18, and now she’s legal for some hot anal action! She slurps down Buck’s rod and then after a few minutes strips naked and spreads her cheeks to show her ass. He starts prepping her for some hot anal by sticking a few fingers in her virgin ass. Buck first slides his cock in her pussy and gets Sarah nice and horny. Then he starts pressing into her ass inch by inch as he works his way inside that tight hole. He takes turns fucking her in the ass and the pussy and then finally Buck cums in her ass and leaves her with a creampie.

Laila is a pretty babe with a super huge smile that wants to be naughty on camera. She is willing to try anal sex, she tried once, but the guy was not great and pretty rough. She shows off her pretty shaved pussy and she plays with that slit getting it all wet and ready to have a cock shoved up her ass. This is a total virgin ass she hasn’t even had toys up her butthole. She sucks a bit on that meat to get it good and hard ready to bust a new hole in her hot ass. She gets that ass started with a finger, then two and finally 3 fingers to get her ready. Then she gets that cock slowly shoved up her tight poopshoot and she loves that dick getting shoved in and out of her hot hole. He takes it out of her hot ass and busts a nut on that pretty face.

When Genie has a sore back she gets in the pool with her man Lars. She promised him that he could try anal with her someday. This is her first time having anal sex and he can’t wait to put his thick cock inside her tight ass. She gets on a lounge chair suck on his meat. His cock is so big she can hardly wrap all her lips around it. He then takes some time to lick her pussy and get her all wet and hot ready to spread her ass cheeks for his meat. He fucks her pretty pussy until she is excited and ready to try that huge meat stick in her ass cheeks. He slowly enters that tight cave with his big boy and she squirms as she takes it all. He bones that ass hard until he can’t stand it anymore, then he pulls out and has her suck and jerk his cock until he unloads all over her face and body.
Jenny is a cute brunette pixie that is only 5 foot tall and loves to have her hair pulled and not really into spankings at all. Damon takes his time taking off her clothes and has a really good time as he plays with her pussy through her sexy black panties. He gives her a little spanking and she liked it and so he gives her a couple more whacks before he starts to finger her pretty slit again getting her wet and excited. When she is wet he starts to shove his big cock into her pussy getting her dripping wet. Then he pulls out to finger her pussy and ass at the same time getting her wet and excited before he dips his thick cock into her tight ass. He pumps that ass until she is moaning and crying for release and shot a huge load on her tight ass.

10. Buy the enema attachment for your garden hose available in your local hardware store in the marital aids section under anal sex.

9. Practice with sticking vegatable in your anus, start with the baby carrots then work your way up through to cucumbers and stop at watermelons before engaging in anal sex…

8. To prepare your asshole for anal sex, hold a hand mirror in such a way that you are able to see your butthole then try singing “be my baby” with your sphincter.

7. Make sure to purchase the industrial size bottle of your favorite lubricant with an anal sex funnel

6. Guys: Look in a mirror and practice the phrase “oops, I thought it was your pussy” until you can convince yourself that the anal sex really was an accident.

5. Gals: Get him back by jamming a thumb up your guy’s ass next time you give him a blowjob so you can ask “how do you like anal sex?”

4. Read a bunch of books on Ancient Greece and watch Steve Reeves Sword and Sandal movies.

3. Always have several towls, some soap, and a few gallons of hot water, as well as a squeegee and a mop handy in case of unexpected accidents during anal sex.

2. Replace the sign “Exit Only” with “All Access Area” prior to anal sex.

1. Watch Homegrown Video‘s “Amateur Anal Attempts” to turn onto what anal sex is all about!

the brown eyed sphincter

winking like a night beacon

signals your demon