1. The frequencies transmitted from the cell towers increase orgasmic intensity while masturbating to mobile porn… of course when your balls start glowing in the dark you may want to consider cutting back a bit…
2. Watching mobile amateur porn videos provides the best excuse in the world – “Sorry I could not take your call since I was pre-occupied with www.homegrownvideo.com
3. A mobile phone is much easier to hide than a magazine or a television or a computer monitor when your mom walks in while you are jerking off to some hot mobile porn amateur sex videos…
4. “Let your fingers do the walking” takes on a whole new dimension of meaning when it comes to porn on your mobile phone.
5. You never know when there will be an emergency and you need to make that call… needing absolutely to get off desperately… and your mobile porn will be there for you!
6. Surfing to mobile porn sites makes you realize you don’t really hate your phone after all.
7. Watching porn on a mobile phone truly makes you realize just how far man has evolved…
8. Surfing to a mobile porn site is the next best thing and a potential life saver when the Suicide Hotline is busy and no one is answering.
9. Viewing porn on mobile phones allows better multitasking during masturbation.
10. Enjoying Homegrown Video on your mobile phone means never ever having to say goodbye to all the greatest amateur porn in the world!

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1. Santa is addicted to hookers and is always on the prowl, demanding “ho, ho, ho’s”
2. Santa loves bbw and curvy girls like Mrs. Claus
3. Santa is into bdsm – you can tell by the boots, the belt, and the whip, a fixation on red and black
4. Rosy cheeks, big smile, laughing over nothing… sounds like post coital bliss to us
5. Choosing naughty and nice is another way of saying Santa has a Madonna/whore complex
6. You know what Freud would say about the whole climbing down the chimney fetish
7. Hanging out in the North Pole, with nothing else to do all year long, you would get into some freaky sex stuff too after a while
8. A strange man that likes children sitting on his lap – he would be in jail if his name weren’t Santa
9. Elves Union has filed complaints about Santa’s sexual harassment, Santa claims elf workers are “perfect height to suck his dick”
10. Santa has a lifetime subscription to www.homegrownvideo.com!

Daphne unwraps her xxxmas present

10. Man cream in a “cum bath” is good for the skin

9. Jizz will keep you looking young and healthy

8. Cum is a great source of protein and will make hair shinier and teeth whiter

7. Dude sauce tastes great, and is less filling

6. Great way to avoid getting pregnant

5. The “shower of love” is a novel way to express one’s affections

4. Saves money on having to get facials at the spa

3. Promises that it won’t get into the eyes, mouth, nose, or ears and will try to avoid the hair if at all possible

2. His nut paste tastes like a banana cream white chocolate fudge sundae with a cherry on top

1. Because his mother used to do it that way…

1. Make sure you underwear is clean. Nothing spoils the mood like pulling off the shorts or panties and seeing a great big butt shmear across the crotch crease.

2. Don’t ask for “sloppy seconds” unless you have cleaned up and eaten everything off of your first helping.

3. The sacrifice of sleeping on the extra wet wet spot must be considered an honor and a privilege otherwise you risk getting cut off from it ever happening again.

4. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you, unless of course there is only enough lube for one person to take it up the butt in which case a coin toss can easily resolve matters.

5. Make sure to be loud enough so that your neighbor’s neighbors can hear everything and look at you with a strange mix of horror, fascination, curiousity, and desire the next day.

6. Any trips to the bathroom should also be an opportunity to quickly freshen up, make sure to brush the teeth and floss out any embarrassing pubic hairs embedded between tooth and gum.

7. Be fair and balanced in dispersing your charms otherwise face a court of inquiry the next day about “who do you really like, me, or her, or him… or it…”

8. Occassionally come up for air, look around, and make sure that the dog hasn’t climbed into the action…

9. Keep your freakiest sides hidden until there is complete trust and willingness to share all around; no one really likes to know that you like a feather duster stuck up your ass with a rubber glove on your head, while you cockle doodle doo away on a first time three-way.

10. Always ask for what you want graciously and give what others need generously and never ever take it for granted that your fantasy is becoming reality unless you want your fantasy to become your nightmare.

1.    Masturbation promotes good prostate health

2.    Plays a really good part of keeping up with the Jones’s sex life

3.    Like owning a future hall of famer rookie card

4.    Every time someone cums in a Homegrown Video an angel gets his wings

5.    Preserves a great historical landmark for future generations use

6.    Easier on the joints than running a marathon

7.    Rain coat clad pervy dude approved

8.    Where else can you learn about positions like the “flying anal”

9.    More fun and informative than watching “Animal Planet”

10.  Helps us pay for our groceries and gas!