Homegrown Video

One more way to spice things up

Make amateur porn

Lani was invited to do a special feature show on the Flirt4free and Homegrown Cams network on Halloween. I am sure you will all agree that she did a pretty fantastic job with her costume.

Lani spreads the wealth around

 Fans loved her sense of humor and sexy antics. She had everyone cracking up when she claimed that she shaved her bush into a “landing strip” so her Maverick could land on it. Since she is my girlfriend I guess that sort of makes her the first lady of Homegrown Video!

Ok, I probably am not the first to vote for Sarah Palin as milf of the year but I am hereby casting my vote to say that I would not kick her out of bed if she told me that she had just come from a bukkake gang bang with George, Dick, John, and which ever other conservatives showed up to dump a load on her while she smiled and winked up at them. I can’t say that I will be voting for her and McCain otherwise but kudos to her for bringing sex appeal back to the democratic process.  She makes me think of that really annoying but terribly sexy teacher that you just wished you could catch her doing something wrong, like masturbating in the restroom, so that she would have to beg you to stay quiet by dropping to her knees to suck your cock until you fucked her harder than all the homework she had ever given you plus all the times you had to stay after school to work on it.

Are hockey moms the snow bunny equivalent of soccer moms? If so, then I have to say that is a good thing. More layers to peel, more reason to create some heat through vigorous fucking friction in order to stay warm. They are probably pretty tough since hockey is tough so that means that they can probably give up the anal when the power play is going down by taking one in the penalty box so to speak. Speaking of ass-fucking and Alaskans though I do remember reading once that Eskimos indulge in plenty of anal sex during the endless nights of winter in order to prevent unwanted pregnancies. If so that would explain that sort of “whoa, that’s the wrong hole” expression that seems plastered on Sarah’s face during her Katie Couric interview.

Governor Palin, Homegrown Video salutes the sexy genius of your milf-dom and celebrates your erotic appeal. If the VP thing doesn’t work out then you are always welcome to send a hot homemade sex video to Homegrown Video!

I grew up as one of those kids always attracted to older women. The girls my own age, in and around sixth and seventh grade, were just too hard to figure out. If you liked them then they didn’t like you but if you acted like you didn’t like them then they were attracted to you. I just couldn’t get my head, my heart, or my hard on around that concept. I had a friend who could. Tony. He might have been the star pitcher on the baseball time but he was by no means the best looking guy in the class; still, he was hitting home runs with a whole roster of girls before most of us had made it to second base. I couldn’t figure it out. The more he talked down to the girls, making fun of them, snubbing them, being downright rude, crude, and socially unacceptable according to the standards by which I had been raised the more they fell for him. My whole gentlemanly, polite, well mannered shtick was getting me nowhere. Worse yet, no matter how hard I tried I only seemed to push the girls away by being that way.

The art teacher that wore tight sweaters that only accentuated her enormous breasts seemed so blissfully free from those issues. She smiled at my efforts to impress her with token displays of my mannered affectations, opening a door, saying please, and a thousand thank-you, thank you, thank yous. Her smile had more sex appeal in just the just the tight little curve at the corner of her lip than a whole year of giggling cheerleader girls flirting with the older varsity jocks. In my dream world she would seduce me and show me exactly what to do – you know – how to please her. In her bed I would learn a thousand lessons and become a sexual acrobat ready to accomplish great feats of pleasure that would thrill prospective partners for years to come.

Unfortunately, nothing ever came of it other than the wild sex that I would fantasize about with her as I masturbated and dreamed what I would do with her in the dark room, by the ceramics wheel, in the bathroom, and wherever else I could imagine fucking her. But I did talk to her. I did tell her about my issues trying to find a girl (I am sure she realized I was really talking about her) and she did give me advice. Excellent advice.

She said, “When you get older you are going to find that women really appreciate you the way you are. Just be patient.” I listened to her. She was right. Now, as president of Homegrown Video, I can celebrate the beautiful, mature, women that some in good humor refer to as “milf”. Thank you Ms. Taylor for making me the pornographer I am today!

The term “milf” was coined in the movie “American Pie” and has since been popularized as a descriptive term in pornography for women of a certain age engaging in sexually explicit entertainment. “MILF” stands for “mother I’d like to fuck” and though the range of ages can be debated most agree that the term applies to women over the age of 25 and under the age of 50. So called “MILF porn” can trace its origins through examination of the amateur niche, specifically in Homegrown Video titles that emerged in the early 1980’s, when mothers who were parents by day and swingers by night began sending in their homemade sex videos. The sudden appearance of women that did not fit into any mold of what a porn star should look like and defied the notion that to be successful in the adult industry one had to have bleached hair and fake boobs not only transformed the industry but established the fact that older and more mature women could be every bit if not more sexy than their younger counterparts.

Homegrown Video now specializes in the milf niche and in addition to the Homegrown Video series the company also offers other series that cater to fans of milfs, “Horny Over 40” and “Housewives Unleashed”.

10. Don’t ask a milf, “What time do you have to get the kids to soccer practice?

9. Avoid saying to a milf “Is that lingerie supposed to hide your stretch marks?

8. Never tell a milf, “Your granny panties really turn me on”

7. Try not to inquire about dirty diapers during foreplay with a milf

6. When a milf asks you if she looks fat in that pair of jeans don’t say “did you mean ‘fat’ or do you mean ‘phat’?”

5. Do not implore a milf to suck on her nipples “like a newborn baby would”

4. When a milf spreads her legs for you never say “I am going to fuck that hole where the baby crawled out of”

3. Don’t tell a milf that you want to fuck her like you would fuck Sarah Palin by clubbing her with your cock like you would club a baby fur seal

2. When a milf begs for a cream pie don’t say anything like “Shouldn’t you be watching your weight?”

1. When a milf wants to make a HOMEGROWN VIDEO amateur sex tape then make sure the batteries are charged!

By the soccer field

She stands with her skirt blowing

With my soccer balls