When Daphne made her first Homegrown Video scene, which was featured in the Eye Contact series in volume two, she looked just about as innocent as could possibly be – imagine if all the virginal buxom heroines from Disney movies going back to Snow White, to the Little Mermaid, to Pocahontas all suddenly came to life and became suddenly self aware of their sex drives.  I could barely believe she was sitting in my office to interview about doing naked pictures and making sex videos. I had to keep blinking and saying “you sure you want to…” and “you know this is x-rated amateur videos…” Matters were not helped by the fact that she brought her absolutely stunningly pretty friend with her that was completely suspicious of my motives. She was basically sneering at me while I tried hard to avoid looking like everyone’s favorite stereotype of the evil porn king bent on turning confused young ladies into wanton sluts and made to bend over and take a big dick in the ass so others could pay for the privilege of watching their innocence defiled.

The more I told her, the more interested she became. I was trying to scare her off but instead it was having the absolute opposite effect. She was becoming intensely turned on while her gorgeous pal was becoming increasingly disgusted.  Finally, I asked Daphne when she was ready to start. “Today.” She said with a very mischievous smile. (Her pal groaned and rolled her eyes) Ok. This was the moment where I raised my hands and eyes to the heavens and thanked God and Country for having the best job on the planet. Daphne’s pale, flawless skin, her beautiful green eyes, and tremendously bounteous bosom adorning her curvy body were making me sweat; the conflict of wanting, on the one hand, to respect her innocence, but on the other, ravishing her and rocking my cock in her mouth until I dumped a load of cum on her nose was like suffering the torments of the damned. (to  be continued…)

10. In the wild, real breasts are easy to differentiate from fake boobs by squeezing them with a gentle but firm cupped hand, the fake breasts will emit a “honking” sound that will attract mallard ducks.

9. Real breasts will vibrate sensuously when you apply your lips and deliver a “bromski” into the ample cleavage while fake boobs will reverberate in a frequency that is likely to cause headaches.

8. In a crowded bar or similar environment yell “strippers suck” and every women that steps forward to kick your ass has a high probability of having fake boobs.

7. With your erect penis, drum lightly on a woman’s breast and if you see a slight rippling wave akin to jello shaken in a bowl then you have encountered actual authentic boobage; whereas, the fake boobs can feel like you are cracking your dick against a brick wall. Remember the part that says drum “lightly”.

6. If you look carefully, fake breasts have a small line of text that reads “in case of emergency, can be used as a flotation device” and real breasts don’t

5. Heat will cause fake breasts to rise but it will cause real boobs to fall.

4. Try blowing air into the left nipple and if the breasts increase in size then you know they are fake.

3. When a woman is riding “cowgirl” style while you have sex and things get really wild, she is bucking and grinding and rocking your world, but then her boobs fall off then you can be certain that they are fake.

2. If you hear a slight hissing sound after nibbling on your lover’s breast then apply a light solution of soapy water and if you see bubbles then you know you have sprung a leak in the fake boob.

1. If you are watching Homegrown Video’s “Big Breast Amateurs” then you can be sure those titties are 100% homegrown all natural organic boobies.