1.       Learn to read the Kama Sutra in Sanskrit and climb a mountain to live in a cave where you meditate upon it 25 years until you know it front and back then come back to society and hit a singles bar.

2.       Pop a few Viagra and attend a sex addicts anonymous meeting and run on and on about how good a relapse would feel.

3.       Put a wig and some lipstick on your hand where you have drawn a cute little face.

4.       Rent a gorilla suit and a jungle explorer pith helmet and get some rope, a whip, a canteen full of sex lube, and a hammock.

5.       Sprinkle salt and pepper on your cock or punani before getting oral sex. You might scream a little but this just adds to the excitement.

6.       Practice hula hooping… with a partner…

7.       Open an adult video business where amateur porn stars send you their homemade sex videos and also make your own amateur porn. (Worked for me…)

8.       Put an ad on Craigslist that says you like wearing diapers and being spanked while masturbating with a milk bottle and singing “three horny mice”

9.       Do volunteer work at a local brothel.

10.   Watch more Homegrown Video  amateur porn!

Tags: homegrown video, sex humor

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