At that point I suppose I would probably be dodging a gaff that some huge bruiser of a stage hand would be extending to try and get me off the stage. The microphone would screech with feedback and ears would be crunched in the distortion as I was wrenched from the stage. The stage hand and I would try to smite each other mightily off in the curtains while the hostess porn starlet scrambled out with a  look of pure terror and not knowing whether I would return for more, or if someone would show up with a spare microphone by the time she took to the podium. As I clawed desperately into the floor trying to scratch my way back to the stage literally crawling on my belly until reinforcements showed up for the gaffer and attempted to beat me into a pulp.

Tags: AVN, avn hall of fame, homegrown, homegrown video, tim lake

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